I have a slow and rising sadness in my heart tonight. A girl I used to love has become someone I no longer recognize, and my souls is howling with grief. I never thought I would see the day when she and I would be so very different as to be at opposite ends of the spectrum about everything.
I know change is inevitable. I know we are supposed to grow, mature, cultivate interests, and all that jazz, but I can no longer continue to pretend I appreciate or even understand the choices she has made in the last three years.
When I'm around her, my whole world sparkles, and I find myself intoxicated by her laughter and ideas. After she is gone, I feel empty, cold, dark and lonely. When she's gone, my brain tries to process what she said but rejects her beliefs completely.
I'm sure I'll think about this more in the coming weeks, but I'm terrified that I will be forced to sever ties with her completely one of these days. The pain of watching her do to her life what she's doing is something I am growing weary if witnessing.
So, my darling dancer, my golden goddess, my beautiful dream, I'm letting go of worshipping you and allowing my heart the chance to breathe again on it's own.
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